I got some fun hate mail in response to my latest column, in which I beg small business owners to honor their regular hours (and customers) with consistent food and service.
Even this messaging isn't as idiotic as an open sign that means "sort of." (image: Flickering Myth)
An open sign that doesn't mean what it says is a two-sided mess though, and that's why I'm asking individuals not to feel bad about patronizing businesses right up until closing time.
I pretty much always have the sensitivity of Gordon Ramsay when this issue arises; in fact, I routinely ask myself "WWGRS" (what would Gordon Ramsay say) to help make sense of the restaurant industry's maddening quirks. On that note, allow me to issue a statement from both of us regarding this matter:
It's bloody unacceptable to give shit service during business hours, you fucks! -Amy T. Granite and Gordon Ramsay (image: BuddyTV)
Oh yes, we live in a troublesome culture of closing early when someone writes to me and asks: "Why would you expect fresh food at 15 minutes before closing?"
My stance is firm: If restaurants stop serving their usual quality of food at a certain hour, then it's immoral to make eaters pay in full.
(note: G-Ram and I also agree with a mutual Facebook friend's more reasonable suggestion: maybe restaurants should offer a limited menu of closing-time lameness proof food items during their last hour of business.)
Perhaps the joint's owners should do their patrons AND employees the favor of closing at a time that makes sense according to their labor needs/budget/bursting grease traps/clogged toilets or whatever the hell is causing innocent dinners to suck. Please, if any of these are regularly the case for you, a) rot in Yelp hell and b) close earlier with dignity for fuck's sake!