i am a nervous person. Some would argue that i’m a nervous wreck. As we j-walked across Sunset Boulevard towards Falcon Restaurant, my booted legs were noticeably weak and shaky. The national launch party of Mutineer Magazine, where i’d finally get to see my labor of love in print, was feeling more and more like a trip to the dentist, versus a cocktail party celebration.
Someone handed me a copy. i told myself i would not read the article at the party. i immediately excused myself and did just that. The cover. My ‘Beer Wars’ article made the cover. i read most of the piece in the dim light, scanned some others, and was shocked that my writing appeared unscathed by the editor’s toolbox; in fact, my work hadn’t been altered at all from the original (yes, it is PDF’d to the brain after reading it a zillion times). I re-entered the party elated, and ready to get my drink on.
i got home at 2am. Time to read-read. Page 2, end of the first paragraph, sticking out for the world to trip over: ‘Arrogant Basterd.’ What? ‘Arrogant Basterd.’ I KNOW HOW TO SPELL BASTARD! Nooooooo! Greg Koch, CEO of Stone, was one of three interviews in the piece… and his beer- which happens to be the #1 selling 22oz bottle of beer in the NATION- is misspelled? Horror. I read on. A blurb on the crease of the third page, added by one of the editors. Normal procedure for an extended article like this, no mind at all. OMG! NO MIND AT ALL! ‘to seak out’… Seak isn’t even a word, Google told me so! i felt like someone punched me in the bread basket.
Lesson learned. Editors forget to spell check, too. Wait, that implies that i forget to spell check. And i don’t. And i did not. And i’m still stewing. Is this similar to standing in front of a group of people, pointing at my chin, ‘Please don’t look at this huge, puss-filled zit!’
What do i do in this situation? i just want people to know that i can spell! sonofabitch.
(i’ll refrain from pointing out unsightly body acne, i.e. grammatical errors).








May 23rd, 2009 at 2:28 am
Amy, while I confess to having a hard time identifying with you at times because you seem to be getting way more opportunities to drink and eat fun things than I have ever attained with an advanced graduate degree, here I am completely on your page. How utterly horrifying!!!! How vile! And the worst thing is thinking that other readers will not know the truth, that you do know how to spell and proofread. (Though I think it’s spelled pus, but we’re all human.)
Now, let’s look at the up side: this looks like a great magaazine, and your piece made the cover! Plus, the error gave you more story for the blog. Come back and talk to my students again about how you’re making your way in the world with the LTWR major! Cheers!! Martha